“EGO” – The tiniest word powerful enough to break down any relationship.
What ruined you, I asked? Your ego, my inner self replied.
EGO is something instilled in everyone, it’s an individual’s sense of self- esteem, and self-proclamation. What makes one person with ego different from another is the level of egoism that person posses for self. Philosophy says it’s a conscious identity of self, a self-made decision.
It is made up of many belief a person has acquired in his whole life right from his childhood, in the surroundings he lived and with the family members he was born and bought up. It becomes the part of the person’s personality which separates him from the outside world. It becomes his way of understanding and reacting to things.
Fun fact, ego is Latin for “I”
The Ego shield a person develops over a period of time defines his action and affects his relationship with his near and dear ones in the long run. Some people are easy going and they are taken for granted in most of the cases and some people are too difficult to deal because of their ego, that continuous ego pampering becomes so smoldering after a point of time that one gives up on the whole idea of making things work, making that relationship work.
Initially, it is difficult to gauge a person with an ego as it hides behind the opinions and slightest conversations but after certain emotional reactions and frequent episodes of arguments one can spot the noticeable reactions, it leaves behind. Few common conditions of egoism are:
- Showing Anger at anyone and everyone, just to prove their point right.
- The feeling of insecurity also gives rise to an individual’s ego in certain situations
- The unexplained jealousy
- The need to impress people around with their dynamism
- Some instilled limiting beliefs like, you are the best, you can never lose, you are meant to be a winner, etc which causes a long term unhealthy egoism in an individual
An ego shield makes a person so unapproachable that we think before speaking to them and we hesitate opening up. It is said that an over-inflated ego can affect our relationships and our identity as perceived by other people.
Research has shown that the the ego can be held responsible for many negative human traits like criticising and judging others,acting manipulative, being inflexible and rigid, having severe mood swings, possessing a constant need for praise and approval, need to feel superior to everyone around, feeling fearful, anxious, being uncooperative, taking things too seriously, taking offense easily, constantly worrying over little things, feeling resentful towards others, inability to live in the present moments, feelings of hopelessness and despair and the need for power and control over others.
Ego is a part of our personality trait and it cannot be completely eliminated, even a person knows the consequences of this attitude, he continues to behave in the same manner because he is controlled by his behavior. We could aim at controlling the behavior, the response rather than destroying our inners peace. Once we learn that our Egoism is coming in between our growth in relationships and at the workplace or anywhere, we need to suppress the negative demands of our ego.
To experience the true beauty of any relationship a person has to get rid of his/her ego. On the contrary, if you allow your life to be based on the mental projection, there is a chance of you going down the path leading to depression.
I see people doing well, I appreciate them and I feel good or I feel jealous and make snide remarks because my ego doesn’t allow me to praise anyone else. I had an argument, I realize my part of mistake, I say sorry and I move on or I wait for the other person to come and say sorry because I cannot mend my ways. This is the ultimate relationship between you and your ego.
The real challenge is to become aware of what your personal ego looks like and take the full onus of the improvement which will only result in blossoming relationships, positive mindset, and a peaceful mind.
Let go of your EGO and free yourself from the burden of grief, jealousy, anger, frustration, and disappointments. Life is meant to loved and lived with the ones you love, make it a better place by loosening up a little.
Much love and gratitude
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