“We can never judge the lives of others because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path. ” — Paulo Coehlo
It is very easy to judge people and situation on what it appears from outside, but that perception of a situation or a person might not be genuine, it is a human tendency that we tend to believe what we see, and especially when it is inclined towards something negative, something suspicious.
When we generalize and judge people quickly without taking ample time, we’ve chosen a shortcut to understand that person. It’s superficial of us, and a lack of wisdom within us. We overlook the possibilities, we just Judge, we pass judgement without knowing the truth.
I will share a personal experience, which was not only an eye opener for me but gave me a reality check.
Once there was a lady staying in the same building with a newborn baby, She must be in her late 30’s. She hardly use to talk with anybody around and stayed very low key, people said she never cooked, she did not even have proper utensils in her house, her baby is always messy, what kind of a lady she is and blah blah…and several statements were made on her way of living.
As she was staying on the same floor, people were more curious to gather information about her from me, I never knew anything because they had recently shifted and I believe in giving time to others to settle down. But few of them shared common maid and were making many assumptions based on the information they got from the higher authority, “The Housemaid” I used to listen to these conversations whenever I met with other ladies at the gym or society play area for kids and wore their lens to see her, I started looking at her with all those preconceived notions.
It was just a normal evening when I coincidentally met her on my way to the gym, She was struggling to walk, her brother was supporting her, I just stopped and asked if everything is OK and just in a few minutes of conversation I came across something which shook my soul to the core and left me baffled.
This lady had met with a severe accident five years ago the affects were such that she was in coma for a year and was half paralyzed and had been bedridden for four years and only recently she was much stable and could walk with support and move a little. She decided to conceive, that too after twelve years of her marriage and was struggling hard to manage her daily life. Her right hand was still affected and she could not even hold her newborn. What else could be so hurtful for a mother who can’t even hold her baby? She felt nice talking to me and invited me to her house.
By this few minutes of passing conversation, all the judgement statements people made about her just vanished, and I realized how others perceive the situation and spread the judgement passed by them based on their limited understanding of the situation and others just wear their eyes to see the world and believe it.
When we judge others, we do not define them, we define ourselves.
We easily believe others, we easily judge people based on how they appear from outside, or how they pretend to appear.
Some are judged by their past mistakes, some are judged by their present acts, some on the basis of their lifestyle, some on the basis of there way of dressing up. We are on this continuous Judgementmeter and victim of Judgementality at times.
But the fact is we just cannot judge people, we are more than the bodies we inhabit, they’re little more than clothes, and yet we judge so much by them. We cannot scan a person just by our ignorant eyes which fail to see a person as a human with kindness.
Let’s stop judging others, and relieve them of the heavy burden they are carrying on their shoulders because of us— Anonymous.
P.S: I still visit her, her baby is one year old now and I visit her often. I use to cut her baby’s nails, I loved to oil her hair, I and my daughter enjoyed cuddling her. She is indeed a very happy child.
Much love and gratitude
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