In my whole series, I have been stressing over various elements which lead to stress and how we can try to overcome them and today I am going to share something very personal, holding a deep sentimental value for me, because I know somebody is listening to me today 🙂
On the 19th day of BlogChatter A2Z Challenge, I present the most cunning societal siyyapa (problems) we all face and come across through stigmatized and stereotypical attitude of the society we penetrate in.
Color Shaming and Body Shaming are no less than a leading cause of depression, frustration and anxiety in people today, yesterday and maybe in the future.
Results: Lower Self-esteem, inferiority complex, isolation, and zero confidence.
Who is responsible: YOU, ME and whole Society. We knowingly and unknowingly right from the childhood use such terms with our kids and family members, zyada khaegi to moti hojaegi, dhup me ghumoge to kale ho jaeoge, We don’t aim at anything but it has become a casual way of talking since ages and we are carrying forward it, passing on the grand legacy generation to generation.
Please watch this video, it came straight from my heart and found this very apt for this theme.
My Personal Experience: Being a dark-skinned female,I always experienced this dark color paradox bothering me from my teenage to marriageable age, (after that I gave a bait shit about it) girls with fair complexion were beautiful by default and dark toned girls like me had to always face this color differentiation stigma and to cover up my family and friends used to say although you are dark in color you have got sharp features,nice hair and you are beautiful.
Even my dark-skinned classmates(especially boys) ridiculed the color of my skin. One of them called me “Kaali Maa” I pretended I didn’t hear him and walked away. But my heart broke. The most amusing part was if a boy is dark in color, he is addressed as ‘Dark and Handsome’ but for the girl again the rules were different here.
Unfortunately, this diversity in skin color has created a hierarchy of beauty – a hierarchy that tells you that the light-skinned people are the epitome of beauty, while the dark-skinned people fall at the bottom. Why only fair is lovely. I kept wondering.
I was unaware of this until I was in the seventh grade when I found out that my dark skin could put me in a tough spot and stunt my self-esteem.
In the tenth grade, when I was attending a relative’s marriage, my grandmother said why do you wear light colors? You look darker in light color clothes and again I had nothing to say.
I hated wearing white and black. I hated taking pictures in a room that wasn’t well-lit because I knew that while the faces of all my fair-skinned relatives/friends would show up in the picture, mine wouldn’t.
Then came the era where finally Dark was IN… the term “DUSKY Beauty” was evolved and it gave us due consideration and our skin tone was recognized finally. Volla!!
Thanks to all the dark skin Supermodels and Actresses. But by this time, I had realized one thing that even if it doesn’t matter to you personally, the people around you will never let you take it easy. They make it a point to make a big deal about it.
People in India have got this unfair obsession with the lighter skin as if it is in our hands to choose the skin color shades of our wish.
But as I grew up I started accepting me the way I am and groomed myself as a person and followed my own mantra, “Stay Unfair, Stay Beautiful” it means, it is all about our attitude and how do we look at our self, how we work for our betterment.
It is only YOU who can bring out the best in you and trust me you will outshine! Be you in all ways and always.
Much love and gratitude
The #BlogchatterA2Z series is building up right here