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Virtual Siyahi

The Woman That I Am at 30 Something

Life of a woman at 30 could be all about family, kids, career challenges, relationships, heartaches, bodyaches (haye meri kamar), responsibilites and all those end number of ups and downs. While I sail in the same boat like all the other women, I have also discovered that my life in my 30s has become more liberating and adventurous.

Woman in India are a baggage of expectations which they carry and pass it generation to generation. Humne kiya tum bhi karo, humne saha tum bhi saho wala the very famous baggage. 

In this blog, and in lieu of International women’s day, I would present an unapologetic and the most unsanskari version of me. Life of woman who can raise her voice and who doesn’t belives in the paleolithic ways. I am learning to unlearn all the things I belived while I grew up. So join me all the womaniyas out here πŸ™‚

This is not a aurat teri yahi kahani post or how I feel guilty of being born as a female...nahhhiiii. I am here to face the woman I am and express her in few words ( 700 – 1000 words may be depending upon how much I want to show and how much I want to hide ,wink wink ;-))

Life of a woman at her 30 something

I will not boast about how good I am at doing things, neither I will promote what all I do but I will share my shares of failures, as failure builds your character and it has certainly built mine. I am made up failures more than success, yet I am proud of a Woman that I am, and I carry each failure as a badge. 

I am unapologetic for the paths I have chosen in my life right from marrying a guy of my choice to inking tattoos on my body and that too coming from a traditional marwari family where wearing jeans was also a topic of huge discussion, and I have taken full responsibility of the consequences of my every decisions. I could be certainly labeled as unsanskari, bold and fearless, but this is the woman I am. One life and a lot to discover and miles to travel.

I am mostly blamed, labeled and judged for the path I have chosen in my life, leaving my job and settling myself as a blogger, blogger? Tum kahase blogger ban gai, MBA karke yahi sab karna tha? Uff, ye muft ka gyan jo tum dusro ko batti ho khud pe apply karti ho? Achi khasi job kar rahi thi aur yesab mein lagi rehti hai.. Blah Blah and some more blah …But hey success comes to those who are willing to come out of their comfort zone and be prepared for the extreme consequences they can encounter in the path, right? (Imagine all guns blazing)

Life of woman

Now the label : They say that all the little success and name I have earned in these two years is by being a victim player, I am earning cheap dividends and minting money by being a drama queen. Haye meri yahi kahani, main kitni abla nari.. Ahem..I have written over 500 articles, one eBook and I run a youtube channel where in I, yours truly, hardly speak about myself although I have been fighting depression from quite sometime (high-functioning one) I help myself by helping others and here also people who know about it, they JUDGE..Photos dekhke to nahi lagta ise koi depression hai, depression mein blogs/poem kaise likh leti ho? Kis cheez ka depression hai bhai tumhe sab badhiya to hai? ( Me inside my mind: aapko block kardu?)

Why am I sharing this here?

As I write this post, I see myself growing from a 26 year old hopelessly romantic, newly married girl to a 34 year old matured and mindful woman, who was too naive too believe in fairy tales and thought that love can win everything, you can thaw mountains with pure love and kindness. A woman whose dreams and aspirations doesn’t fit in this society as she stands firm on her beliefs and not “societal conditioned beliefs” and then she is judged, labeled and demeaned, so karlo judge society walo.

I prepare myself to get doomed daily, I am on the target of life. But this is what has made me what I am today, I have discovered a new me, a transformed me and one thing I can proudly say is that I haven’t lost humanity, rather I have become more empath, I feel pain of others in exact shape and size.

Life of a woman who roars, is always labeled.

The theme for International Women’s Day this year is, I am Generation Equality: Realizing Women’s Rights. Being mother of a six year old daughter, I act responsibily and I am making her life-ready, not sasural ready. I don’t want to put the burden of my broken dreams and aspirations on her fate. I want her to discover her life and believe in equality.

Taking care of my mental health to my physical health, I have seen myself grow. For some I might be mysterious, for some I am an inspiration and for some I am even fake, but no one can define my existence and put a purnaviram on my being as I am no more vulnerable to the unpopular opinions and this is the woman that I am.

Today, I don’t care who is going to read this blog post and what are they going to think about me, today I am not afraid of being judged, today i feel free as atleast I don’t have to portray the perfect picture anymore.

The colorful picture which illuminates the deception of all the beautiful elements of life and mirage of my mind. The cocoon of love, expectations, phelotra of uncalled emotions, society, shame, log kya kahenge, sanskar, logic and everything is broken and exploded into pieces, I was tired holding on for a long time.

I want to free myself from the (life of a woman) cage I had created around me and the perfect life I had created around me. Life of a woman which people want to see, life of a woman as per standard norms, but I am here to stay and I stand tall looking into the eyes of my life, telling it, bring it on. I am here.

And you woman, if you are reading this, remember, you are here to stay, no matter how difficult the situations are and no matter how much you face hurdles in your path, you got to believe in yourself and trust the path. Trust the process, nothing is permanent. The woman that I am, the woman that you are, I am she, she is me, you may choose yourself as I choose ME.The woman that I am

Happy International Women’s Day!

Life of a womanβ€œThis post is a part of β€˜The Woman That I Am’ Blog Hop #TheWomanThatIAm organized by Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul #RRxMM. The Event is sponsored by Kraffitti.”Much love and much gratitude~Priyanka

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112 thoughts on “The Woman That I Am at 30 Something

  1. Hey Priyanka! It’s so good to see you’re back in form, my dearest sherni. As always, I loved to read your piece. Liked everything, as we’re in the same boat. Society’s amazing compliments, relatives and friends wonderful labels, everything. You’ve been always my inspiration to turn my failures into my wisdom. And this women’s day, I want to thank the lady with Letters of Compassion. More and more power to you dear. Love and hugs for my dear angel, Ishaanvi.

    1. Loved reading your honest and straightforward post. Of course we all have to leave the baggage of burden and move forward in a positive way. I choose me is so rightly said. Amazingly expressed… Loved every bit of it.
      Deepika Sharma

  2. Wow! I loved the honesty of the post. I agree as we grew we mature, we learn through our experiences. We can proudly say we are mature enough to understand who is saying what and why? I am blessed I live this journey as a riny part f your life. Total respect for your dedication and never give up attitude. You are my Sherni. I love you so much from the bottom of my heart! Always be happy and be healthy. God bless you.

    Deepika Mishra

  3. A beautiful piece from Priyanka’s pen. Actually at some point we all have to come out of baggage, because one things our parents did was to educate us and give us the ability to question. Hence churning out more females like you, me and many more.

  4. Hey Priyanka, hope you’re feeling better.
    Good to see your post up today.
    Your honesty reflects in every word of the post. Let them read and know that they are the ones who lost. Wishing you loads of happiness. πŸ™‚

  5. Loved reading it… very engaging and yess aren’t we all judged all the time…all the time …but 30s and mind you 40s will give you bigger wings and fu**off society attitude…so keep spreading your wings…our worst (20s) if i may say is way past over:)>3

  6. Hi dear, the lioness is so apt for you, love you loads my wishes and prayers are always with you πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ˜ŠπŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜ then your daughter would say enough my mom and my love she is 😜😜😜 so I finishing here and moving to the post I felt you were to me and only when it ended I understood it was your post. Happy women’s day 😊🌈🌈🌈

    1. Thank you Siva πŸ€— lots of love and hugs to you…😊 my daughter will accomodate all the love her mother gets from wonderful people like you πŸ˜€

  7. Welcome back Priyanka, was waiting for your poat, and trust me it is one more brilliant piece of your work, we as a woman we are here to express ourselves not impress others, so why wasting time in thinking in β€œ4 log sunenge to kya kahenge”, Live the life to the fullest our happiness is our choice not the result of someone’s other deed. Wishing u a very Happy Woman’s Day!!! Take cr take rest and get well soon….

  8. Hey priyanka, how are you doing?
    Hope you are recovering, read your unwell.
    Lovely to read your post
    Very much relatable to what I wrote today, hope you read my post too.
    Doesnt matter if a woman roars or not, but she is always labelled, I am writing this out of my own experience.
    Things have certainly improved for women, but at the top the faces remain only male.

    1. Hi, little better now, recovery will take another week. Thanks for reading and yes I am slowly catching up with all the posts so will surely read yours πŸ€—

  9. Just as happy we are to see you back, we are happy to see your post. This was a very heartfelt post Priyanka and surely this society can not bare the sight of a woman being so right and apt for the situation, but as I mentioned this in many other comments earlier, the change is coming and its going to be good.
    Well penned πŸ™‚
    — rightpurchasing.com

  10. So happy to read this post! And, yes the ‘humne saha ab tum bhi saho’ baggage is like the Indian tradition passed on from generation to generation. Only if one generation lets go of this, we may get a space to grow independently.

  11. Taking care of our mental and physical health should be of almost importance. Only when we take care of ourselves we can be happy. Depression is the most common problem with women and many don’t even talk about it. I feel we should open up about our issues. Self love is very important.

  12. Great to see you back, Priyanka! Your posts are always a treat to read and so is this one. I loved the positivity. 40s are better than 30s, when we finally come to our own. More power to you. Keep inspiring.

  13. I am glad to be reading the more recent posts which talk the language of taking ownership and control of themselves, the woman they are! Lovely reading a post from you like that!

  14. Ekdam mast post! I loved the no hold barred writing of yours. You are what you choose to be and I’m glad you chose and accepted it as well with a pinch of salt. Kuch to log kahege , is apt, and you are surely breaking boundaries. More power to you.

  15. Welcome back Priyanka. Glad to see that you are at your written best after your illness. Great post teaching everyone how to break away from the “log kya kahenge” syndrome that prevents individuals to lead a fulfilling life. More power to you and your pen!

    Meena from balconysunrise.wordpress.com

  16. Being unapologetically yourself is the best love letter that you can write to the world. I loved the honesty in the post. It was lovely reading about you and your journey. Keep shining!

  17. Welcome to the 30s! You seem to be doing an excellent job of it! yes, its the time to rid ourselves of baggage from the teens and 20s and go forth bolder and more consistently in getting what we want from life. Mental health is something we have all experienced or know someone who has gone through it. Good to see you bring it out into the open…
    Glad you are feeling well enough to write! – Brinda

  18. Glad to read your post. Your write-ups always inspire me , straight from heart with your own experiences, reality. Time has come to break the barriers and come out of such norms. I love the woman you are😊. Hope you are fine now. Take care.

  19. Society is not supposed to judge but it judges. And mostly women bear the brunt of it. Good that you face the world with full confidence. Happy that you have recovered. – Yatindra Tawde

  20. Priyanka, hugs to you. The step you’ve taken is the right one. According to me, Jo comfortable lagta hai woh Karo. Because those who talk just need gossip. Kal jab kuch help chahiye the same people will be nowhere. Unse hamein bhi Kya kaam. I usually ignore such people because I tell myself that they are jealous. Let them be. I have read your poems before, heard your open mic poems….I’m impressed. Keep going. Lage raho. Lots of love.

    Janaki@beyondthefamiliar

  21. “Woman in India are a baggage of expectations which they carry and pass it generation to generation.”So true..
    We actually kill ourselves by our own thoughts..Your words are straight from the heart totally unadulterated.. Best wishes for your future posts..

  22. Powerful post and well said women are baggage of expectations, we are topic of discussion we are item of judgement for years and years.
    Loved the choose me poem, pinned it and completely agree and follow all your mental health posts its very important.
    Wishing you great health and happiness.
    Lovely post showcasing the woman’s strong side.
    You posts are always inspiring, keep writing more power to virtual siyahi the name i love always.

  23. Hi Priyanka! Such an honest post. The truth of our lives and people around will always have stories to tell. But believe in yourself can do wonders. Loved the way you said you are making your daughter future ready not sasural ready πŸ™‚. Stay strong God Bless !!

  24. Hi Priyanka, good to see you back . I was scared when we were told you were hospitalized. Hope things are better now. Loved your honest and straight from heart post. The society has evolved from what it was but still we have to walk miles more to be completely free.

  25. Superb! This is the first post I have read from you and definitely reading more! It is an unapologetic, honest and powerful read and loved every bit of it !

  26. You are a rising sun . People judge women in many situations and in many ways . But it needs strength to stop listening to all those and work on one’s own self . I have read your other blog too . Keep going !

  27. There’s so much I want to say after reading this post, Priyanka!
    Firstly, I am so glad you are out of the hospital and I wish you a speedy and complete recovery.
    Secondly, I had no idea you were suffering from depression yourself- that makes your work and positive nature even more meaningful and heartfelt, according to me.
    Thirdly, I too feel much happier in my 30s, as I have come to accept myself, my flaws and my strengths so completely- which I was unable to do at a younger age.
    Keep spreading the cheer!

  28. I am probably reading you everyday but that is because your writing is liberating, inspiring and empowering. Seeing that happiness is in self acceptance and self love makes me want to love myself more and more everyday. Stay healthy πŸ‘ #damurureads Urvashi

  29. Life of a woman who roars is always labelled. Such a powerful line. Managing this labels is really difficult. Who gives other people rights to label?

  30. Hi Priyanka, i recently came across your blog and since then I have been a fan. Heard u in a video from orange flower awards and i felt connected. The best part about u is that u write and speak from your heart and that makes an instant connection. loved reading this,.

  31. Priyanka – glad to have you back in form! I love how you decided to β€œunlearn” and talk about all the things which break social norms! Kudos!
    And I didn’t know you too are a marwari lol

  32. Lovely Priyanka I am so happy to read this honest post.you are strong,inspirational,powerful women.so set your milestones and keep moving forward to achieve your goals,sometimes change can be subtle so it’s important to see and acknowledge the steps you are taking.it’s also highly motivating to cross off your to-do items so you can feel like you are making real progress.Much love and best wishes for your future and my love to your daughter.

  33. Loved your unsanskari version. I feel it is the need of the hour. Glad that you choose to ignore the constant noises that the society keep creating and at the same time you are brave enough to unlearn the wrongs that have already been fed.
    Great post. You are doing an amazing job. Keep flying. Happy to see you hop on as a participant this time.
    #RRxMM #TheWomanThatIAm

  34. That was a honest and very straightforward post from Priyanka’s pen. I also in my 30s have learnt to accept my flaws and reduced the burden of baggage that I carried. I like your point of making your daughter life ready and not sasural ready. My parents I think did a bit of both but like you, I want to equip her to take on the world like a lioness. Loved your post and your attitude. All the best πŸ™‚

  35. I like your openness and fearless spirit to talk about mental health, I am glad you are successfully managing things. We all need to live life on our terms rather than just following societal norms.

  36. I’ve seen your growth over the last two years and am quite impressed with it. Speaking about mental health and accepting that one needs help is still a taboo in our society but you’re doing a great job of helping others out. It was great knowing more about you, Priyanka. I want to make my daughter life-ready too. Sasural can wait.

  37. Your post literally made my day…Yes, even I got the same response, when I started blogging and now when things are movign a bit ahead, everyone is like I still dont understand how are you doing so good for yurself. Basically I am just happy with my work.
    such a brilliant way to capture the taunts that society throws at us.

  38. We all are fighting our own little battles against this judgmental society which refuses to think before speaking. We cant change them but live the life which is only one the way we would want to. Wonderful post.

  39. The burden of expectations is never ending and even I don’t agree with most of them. Chaar log kya kahenge has been the most dramatic dialogue in most of our lives. Good to know that you are carefree and be yourself.

  40. You have covered mental health, depression, a young girl to a mature woman, guiding the little one, the women’s day theme… Everything you have said is apt and hits the nail on the head. The language used is clear and precise. Societal pressure is never-ending!

  41. Must say, back with a bang! Absolutely loved your attitude. Full of positivity and inspiration. Am sure there are many who need to hear this. You surely are a strength to many. Keep up the spirit. So glad to have you in this blog hop πŸ™‚

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