Today we will be talking about the biggest of all the mental disorders, the judgemental disorder.
The biggest fear of a person is, the fear of being judged. For a person like me even applying lipstick was a matter of concern few years back, as I used to think that people will judge me, because that’s what they do.
We stop doing so many things and even few things which we love to do, we are passionate about it but find it so difficult to start with it becasue of the judegmental mentality of the people surrounding us.
If you fail in exam, you are judged, your parents are judged, their parenting skills are judged. If you opt to marry a person out of your caste or religion, you family values are judged.
If you speak a lot, you are judged, if you talk less you ar judged. Hence, moral of the story, anyhow you will be judged.
People are judgemental because they deny to see things as it is, they assume a lot, they focus on negative things and just because we could be a victim of their assumptions, we don’t even take the plunge. We don’t head to pursue our passion.
We have got this one beautiful life, some people are determined and some are not, which is asolutely alright but things become difficult where in the difficult people in our life come to ruin are efforts.
How judegemental people effect us?
A person who is a master in judging others will judge for anything and everything, truth will be miles apart from what they are thinking but they see things from thier eyes and pass their unsolicited judgement in the following ways:
1.) Unwarranted assumptions
The worst part here is that just based on some social media posts and status updates people pass their judgement. Sometimes it also happens that they feel you are saying such things about them.
It happens with me often, I am a menatl health awareness enthusiast and those who are following me on Instagram will come to know that I ususally post positive affirmation and things about staying away from toxic people or toxic elements in our life.
I too have toxic elements in my life and there are times when I get backlashed for writing such stuff, but I write what hurts and I write it loud and clear.
2.) Belittling our efforts
You are working hard on your dreams, may be you want to become a doodle artist or a musician or may be blogger. But beware you will be judged for your choices here as well.
Everyone has their own capacity and skill set to perform. People are judgemental over meagre issues like such when they see a person not performing well in her/his career they label them, may be that person is interested in something else. Who are we to judge?
I started writing as a getaway from my anxiety and depression, yes I have no shame in accepting this, you can judge me if you want. I went into complete isolation and people who were my family members, cousins labeled me as an arrogant and snob person.
They never knew what I was dealing with, but all they knew was to pass their judgement. I was not being a snob, I was trying to survive, I was fighting my inner demons, who were ready to trap me in the depreessing zone forever, and guess what I survived.
In this process of survival, I lost many friends but I came to realize one thing, people are ignorant, they see things on the face value and they live a shallow life.
3.) Demeaning our intentions
Now this worse, someone can judge you for your clothing, your make up, you eating habits etc., etc. but how can someone judge your intentions? I have often heard people demeaning soemone who is trying to make a difference in their life, a single mother who gets along with others in friendly manner is judged, a man who supports her female junior is judged, a mother is continously judged for imparting values to her kids, a kid is also judged for not perfoming as per the expectaions.
Do we sapre anyone? I know there are people who are mean, but if we wear the same unfiltered glass to see everyone and everything around us then we will see the same quality in everyone.
Honestly speaking, we are no one to judge anyone, even Bhagwad Gita says not to judge anyone and be not in hurry to pass your remarks when you don’t know the root cause.
How I made my way though judgemental people?
I was scared of getting judged, when I started blogging because I am a moderate English pseaker, I was feared of getting judged when I started opening about my anxiety because people might talk about me and I was doubtful of getting judged when I started with my next blog dedicated to mental health in women.
But I took a step towards me, I have been practising mindfulness for a while, which has helped to be in the moment, I do have my episodes of anxiety and I do feel low at times, But I have learned to snap out and get going.
I have a vision, a dream and I have set deadlines for myself, which keep me away from all the judgemental mongers.
Don’t be judgemental, be transcendental.
Much love and gratitude