Life of a woman at 30 could be all about family, kids, career challenges, relationships, heartaches, bodyaches (haye meri kamar), responsibilites and all those end number of ups and downs. While I sail in the same boat like all the other women, I have also discovered that my life in my 30s has become more liberating and adventurous.
Woman in India are a baggage of expectations which they carry and pass it generation to generation. Humne kiya tum bhi karo, humne saha tum bhi saho wala the very famous baggage.
In this blog, and in lieu of International women’s day, I would present an unapologetic and the most unsanskari version of me. Life of woman who can raise her voice and who doesn’t belives in the paleolithic ways. I am learning to unlearn all the things I belived while I grew up. So join me all the womaniyas out here 🙂
This is not a aurat teri yahi kahani post or how I feel guilty of being born as a female...nahhhiiii. I am here to face the woman I am and express her in few words ( 700 – 1000 words may be depending upon how much I want to show and how much I want to hide ,wink wink ;-))
Life of a woman at her 30 something
I will not boast about how good I am at doing things, neither I will promote what all I do but I will share my shares of failures, as failure builds your character and it has certainly built mine. I am made up failures more than success, yet I am proud of a Woman that I am, and I carry each failure as a badge.
I am unapologetic for the paths I have chosen in my life right from marrying a guy of my choice to inking tattoos on my body and that too coming from a traditional marwari family where wearing jeans was also a topic of huge discussion, and I have taken full responsibility of the consequences of my every decisions. I could be certainly labeled as unsanskari, bold and fearless, but this is the woman I am. One life and a lot to discover and miles to travel.
I am mostly blamed, labeled and judged for the path I have chosen in my life, leaving my job and settling myself as a blogger, blogger? Tum kahase blogger ban gai, MBA karke yahi sab karna tha? Uff, ye muft ka gyan jo tum dusro ko batti ho khud pe apply karti ho? Achi khasi job kar rahi thi aur yesab mein lagi rehti hai.. Blah Blah and some more blah …But hey success comes to those who are willing to come out of their comfort zone and be prepared for the extreme consequences they can encounter in the path, right? (Imagine all guns blazing)
Now the label : They say that all the little success and name I have earned in these two years is by being a victim player, I am earning cheap dividends and minting money by being a drama queen. Haye meri yahi kahani, main kitni abla nari.. Ahem..I have written over 500 articles, one eBook and I run a youtube channel where in I, yours truly, hardly speak about myself although I have been fighting depression from quite sometime (high-functioning one) I help myself by helping others and here also people who know about it, they JUDGE..Photos dekhke to nahi lagta ise koi depression hai, depression mein blogs/poem kaise likh leti ho? Kis cheez ka depression hai bhai tumhe sab badhiya to hai? ( Me inside my mind: aapko block kardu?)
Why am I sharing this here?
As I write this post, I see myself growing from a 26 year old hopelessly romantic, newly married girl to a 34 year old matured and mindful woman, who was too naive too believe in fairy tales and thought that love can win everything, you can thaw mountains with pure love and kindness. A woman whose dreams and aspirations doesn’t fit in this society as she stands firm on her beliefs and not “societal conditioned beliefs” and then she is judged, labeled and demeaned, so karlo judge society walo.
I prepare myself to get doomed daily, I am on the target of life. But this is what has made me what I am today, I have discovered a new me, a transformed me and one thing I can proudly say is that I haven’t lost humanity, rather I have become more empath, I feel pain of others in exact shape and size.
Life of a woman who roars, is always labeled.
The theme for International Women’s Day this year is, I am Generation Equality: Realizing Women’s Rights. Being mother of a six year old daughter, I act responsibily and I am making her life-ready, not sasural ready. I don’t want to put the burden of my broken dreams and aspirations on her fate. I want her to discover her life and believe in equality.
Taking care of my mental health to my physical health, I have seen myself grow. For some I might be mysterious, for some I am an inspiration and for some I am even fake, but no one can define my existence and put a purnaviram on my being as I am no more vulnerable to the unpopular opinions and this is the woman that I am.
Today, I don’t care who is going to read this blog post and what are they going to think about me, today I am not afraid of being judged, today i feel free as atleast I don’t have to portray the perfect picture anymore.
The colorful picture which illuminates the deception of all the beautiful elements of life and mirage of my mind. The cocoon of love, expectations, phelotra of uncalled emotions, society, shame, log kya kahenge, sanskar, logic and everything is broken and exploded into pieces, I was tired holding on for a long time.
I want to free myself from the (life of a woman) cage I had created around me and the perfect life I had created around me. Life of a woman which people want to see, life of a woman as per standard norms, but I am here to stay and I stand tall looking into the eyes of my life, telling it, bring it on. I am here.
And you woman, if you are reading this, remember, you are here to stay, no matter how difficult the situations are and no matter how much you face hurdles in your path, you got to believe in yourself and trust the path. Trust the process, nothing is permanent. The woman that I am, the woman that you are, I am she, she is me, you may choose yourself as I choose ME.
Happy International Women’s Day!